AARP

Is it wrong to hate the AARP? Not only are their commericals ridiculous but it seems that they feel that their members should have to pay virtually nothing for health care. As a working and contributing member of society I am dismayed on a monthly basis to see how much of my money is going to pay for Social Security, Medicare, and a slew of other bureaucratic messes.

I spoke to some of their representatives this morning and was informed that they did not feel that doctors providing services to Medicare patients should receive any increase in payments despite the fact that these doctors have not received any increase in payments for the last five years. Which means that they've actually had to absorb the cost of medical inflation (3.7%). It all seems a little ridiculous to me.

I'm all for increasing care provided to seniors and enabling access, but you can't have your cake and eat it too. Somethings got to give and I don't want it to be anymore of my paycheck.

Obsessed by Christmas Pickles

Recently, I have become obsessed with the Christmas pickle ornament. I find myself going through the list of people I plan on giving gifts to wondering who would appreciate the beauty and wonder of pickle ornaments. I contemplate this in the shower, on the way to work, and sometimes in the middle of conversations with others. As of now, 27 days until the day, there is no lucky winner to this internal debate. So, those of you out there who would like a Christmas pickle set feel free to let me know. ---Penguin

Stealthy Insect Sensor Project

http://www.cnn.com/2006/TECH/science/11/28/bombsniffing.bees.reut/index.html
Since when are bees trainable? I find the whole concept disturbing and sincerely hope that my tax dollars are not being used to build these bee boxes. It's great that these aero-dynamically incorrect little buggers can sniff out bombs. But how do they let you know that they've detected something sketchy? By sticking out their incredibly obvious proboscis -- the tube they use to feed on nectar for the morons among us. Not us- you. If you don't know what a proboscis is then stop reading our blog because you're an idiot.

Enough about this. I just want to know what PETA thinks. I never make a move without their input, bad karma.

Celebrity Update

I don't know where to begin, it's been a busy day on people.com and I can't handle the drama alone. Pamela Anderson and the ever classy Kid Rock have decided to divorce, allegedly over the Baywatch queen's role in the recent Borat movie. But no one really cares about old people with hepatitis so we'll move on. Jessica Biel and Derek Jeter have been spotted canoodling at hot spots around the nation, a couple? No confirmation. A more compelling question- if they arm wrestled, who would win? My money is on Jessica, Seventh Heaven or not she scares the crap out of me. I wonder if she'll move to the WWE when the public finally realizes that she can't act. Hilary Duff and Joel Madden may have ended their torrid and illegal during the early stages love affair.

But most importantly, Britney Spears is back on the scene with none other than Paris Hilton. I just don't know what to say. I've never had high hopes for the cheetoh loving pop queen but I thought she'd sunk as low as she could with K. Fed. She's exceeded even my lowest expectations. At least we have her greatest hits album to remember the glory days.

This is penguin, a picture of wedded and domestic bliss. Martha Stewart has nothing on her.